Thinking about this quote

"The, uh, the good and the bad is always there. You know it’s so easy to linger on the extreme, just whichever pull you’re currently clinging to. But it is important to let yourself bask in all of it, uhm, I think. Especially when you physically feel like Hell. Uh, when things are just going to shit. Knowing that it’s either for a better purpose, or even if you’re just throwing up your guts and want to die, remembering that someone out there is laughing, or falling in love, or just able to fall asleep. Bringing that balance into scope can give you a happy medium to cling to. You can use it to help- excuse me, raise yourself up.

That baseline - decent - is what I’m clinging to. [sighs] Shaking from withdrawal. Throwing up when I try to eat. Barely tolerating water at this point. Knowing that I can one day [chuckles] just be normal and sad. Versus manic and fucking dead inside. That is my light at the end of this tunnel."