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Well, this week was... one of the weeks ever.
I've been spending most of my time cleaning up my room. Tomorrow some guy is coming over and he's placing a new window and shit at my bedroom wall, so I needed my room to not look like the worst mess ever. Which is a lot of work because it is the worst mess ever. Well, maybe not the worst, but it is pretty fucking bad. My room isn't very clean yet, but oh fucking well. Nothing I can do about it anymore now, I suppose.
On Wednesday, I decided to treat myself to going to the cinema. Thunderbolts* had it's last 3D showing at my local cinema that day, and I was the ONLY ONE in the room. Just my echo, my shadow, and me. (Any fans of The Ink Spots here? No? Okay.) I was kind of expecting a panic attack, since I had only gone to the cinema on my own once before and then I then spent 45 minutes having a panic attack there (wouldn't recommend), but this time I had no problems whatsoever. Maybe it's because I was completely alone in the room, but I think it's mostly that my meds now fully work. Got them against the depression, for which they don't do shit, but they are so good at taking away anxiety. I hardly get nervous or worried anymore. If I would've had this in high school, I would've been a god.
Anyway, the movie itself was great. I will upload a review of it to Letterboxd at some point, but I think the MCU might be making a bit of a comeback. Fucking FINALLY.
Then more cleaning and more cleaning...
Coming Saturday I have a birthday party of two people, though, so yesterday I went out and bought them gifts. Got myself some things too. It was fun to, you know, GO OUTSIDE.
Today I've mostly just been sitting on my ass and downloading my old Twitch streams. Tomorrow they're removing content from your highlights if you have more than 100 hours of it. I had 1500+, or something. I didn't want to wait until the last possible day, but here we are. Because of the speed of Twitch + my Wi-Fi, I haven't been able to save a lot. Right now I just have 133 of the 1100+ streams downloaded, and I'm only downloading the ones I really don't want to lose. But it kind of sucks because I used to use Twitch solely for archiving purposes. Now most of that archive is going to be gone forever. But yeah, 133 RIGHT NOW, because I'm still downloading these videos. Tomorrow the window guy will be here at 8 am. I am not going to get enough sleep tonight. I can't wait for this week to just be over, honestly, and it hasn't even started yet.
Trauma therapy is going well, though. It's so comical. Do you know what they do? They make you recount your trauma over and over until you become desensitized to it. Isn't that the most fucked up shit you've heard today? You have to mentally beat yourself up until you can't feel the pain anymore. The cure is that there is no cure. It's wild. It feels so... hilariously dystopian.
But anyway, I'm going to go ahead and dread the coming week while I download some more of my old streams. Adios.
I've been spending most of my time cleaning up my room. Tomorrow some guy is coming over and he's placing a new window and shit at my bedroom wall, so I needed my room to not look like the worst mess ever. Which is a lot of work because it is the worst mess ever. Well, maybe not the worst, but it is pretty fucking bad. My room isn't very clean yet, but oh fucking well. Nothing I can do about it anymore now, I suppose.
On Wednesday, I decided to treat myself to going to the cinema. Thunderbolts* had it's last 3D showing at my local cinema that day, and I was the ONLY ONE in the room. Just my echo, my shadow, and me. (Any fans of The Ink Spots here? No? Okay.) I was kind of expecting a panic attack, since I had only gone to the cinema on my own once before and then I then spent 45 minutes having a panic attack there (wouldn't recommend), but this time I had no problems whatsoever. Maybe it's because I was completely alone in the room, but I think it's mostly that my meds now fully work. Got them against the depression, for which they don't do shit, but they are so good at taking away anxiety. I hardly get nervous or worried anymore. If I would've had this in high school, I would've been a god.
Anyway, the movie itself was great. I will upload a review of it to Letterboxd at some point, but I think the MCU might be making a bit of a comeback. Fucking FINALLY.
Then more cleaning and more cleaning...
Coming Saturday I have a birthday party of two people, though, so yesterday I went out and bought them gifts. Got myself some things too. It was fun to, you know, GO OUTSIDE.
Today I've mostly just been sitting on my ass and downloading my old Twitch streams. Tomorrow they're removing content from your highlights if you have more than 100 hours of it. I had 1500+, or something. I didn't want to wait until the last possible day, but here we are. Because of the speed of Twitch + my Wi-Fi, I haven't been able to save a lot. Right now I just have 133 of the 1100+ streams downloaded, and I'm only downloading the ones I really don't want to lose. But it kind of sucks because I used to use Twitch solely for archiving purposes. Now most of that archive is going to be gone forever. But yeah, 133 RIGHT NOW, because I'm still downloading these videos. Tomorrow the window guy will be here at 8 am. I am not going to get enough sleep tonight. I can't wait for this week to just be over, honestly, and it hasn't even started yet.
Trauma therapy is going well, though. It's so comical. Do you know what they do? They make you recount your trauma over and over until you become desensitized to it. Isn't that the most fucked up shit you've heard today? You have to mentally beat yourself up until you can't feel the pain anymore. The cure is that there is no cure. It's wild. It feels so... hilariously dystopian.
But anyway, I'm going to go ahead and dread the coming week while I download some more of my old streams. Adios.
