Damn, it's been over a month since I've written here? I also haven't been writing much in my journal, so the past few weeks kind of don't exist, but oh well.

I started uni. I fucking HATED the intro day because it seemed that university life was going to be the same as high school. And when you're in a pretty small study, it kind of is. You have the nerds, the jocks, and me. But people are slightly more chill. None of them seem like they'd bully me. I mean, they're to hungover to anyway. And there's three people in my classes that I kind of like. One of them is this alternative girl. She has seen Nine Inch Nails live, how the Hell could I not find her cool?! And then there's this guy who's Spanish-Colombian who is also not much into drinking and partying, and there's this guy from Germany who has, in the span of two days, complimented me on my Walkman, my flip-phone, and the doodles I've made in class. He's really nice.

But yeah, just had my first week of classes and it's pretty fun. I spent probably half of my classes doodling, though, LOL. I'm doing American Studies, by the way. History, politics, culture, etc. Main focus is the U.S., but we also talk a bit about Canada and Latin America, I think? Either way, it's been pretty interesting so far. Soon we're going to watch a romcom with George Clooney for one of my classes and then we have to write an essay about what it says about Karl Marx' views on the subject of working. Kind of insane, but also really funny. I like my teachers a lot.

What else...

Oh yeah, Charlie Kirk got murdered live on stage. LOL, L bozo. Feel free to mourn him, if that's your thing, but I don't really care. If anything, it's poetic, as he has said that some people will have to die so Americans can have guns available to them. It's come full circle. Kind of beautiful.

Also, Russia is testing NATO. Very much not cool. If Putin is a reader of my blog: Mr. Putin, just stop.

My brain is kind of fried right now, but I think those are the most pressing things I have to say right now.

Adios.

You seriously can't let Yori alone outside for just a couple of minutes or Jesus will find His way to them. Today, Sam and I went into an office store to find them a planner for the coming school year and we chatted a bit with the store owner, and Yori was just going to sit on a bench outside by themselves, but then when we came out, two people were standing next to Yori. Turns out the two of them were Christian missionaries trying to spread the word of Christ. One of the two was a local, but the other guy came all the way from ENGLAND. Foreign missionary program. Pretty wild stuff. The guy asked if we knew who Jesus is, and told us about Jesus came to him and helped him get over his porn addiction and suicidal thoughts. He prayed for Yori's knee, which has been hurting, but so far God hasn't gotten around to that request yet. Oh well. We appreciate the gesture, Brad.

I was listening to a Radiohead CD with my window open and I can conclude that My Iron Lung combined with a siren coming from the police/an ambulance/firefighters/whatever makes for a pretty sick remix.

And in other, perhaps even funnier news, it just got revealed that the new Black Panther in the MCU is going to be WHITE?! Yeah, I'm not kidding. I thought it was a joke, but apparently Sky News Australia reported on it already, so I'm guessing it probably has some credibility. A Black Panther with blond hair and blue eyes. What's he going to fight? "White genocide"? Maybe he should team up with Musk now Musk's done sucking Trump's dick, LOL.

In other news, the Dutch cabinet fell and we'll have new elections soon, LOL. Good job, right-wingers.

Went to the city to get new walking shoes. Found some Landrover walking shoes that I like, but they're not as comfortable as my Mountain Peak walking shoes. But the soles of those is letting go, so I first need to glue those back together again. Also bought a Yu-Gi-Oh! box. It was way on sale right now and it is a kind of starter deck thing, so I think I can play the game with it. So that seems fun.

Also already went for a walk with my new shoes. Allex and I went for a walk in the forest. On my way back, I came across one of those book exchange boxes next to the road, and I saw that there were also four rows of stickers. I got the Hello Kitty one because one of the three has a o.o face, and I found that pretty funny. Put that one on my laptop. Tuesday wanted to have the other two and I guess that's alright with me, because I have no idea where I'd even put them, and I got them for free anyway.

But yeah, pretty chill day. Just sitting at my desk now and listening to the rain.

After I broke up with Ad, he blocked me, but after a while he unblocked me and we talked it out. I was very obsessively thinking about suicide, but I guess that calmed down a bit after Ad asked me to please not do it. I didn't want to hurt him even more by dying. But that numbness I was talking about in my last post? Yeah, that didn't last long. I cried so hard. I can barely ever cry anymore, but fuck, I was going through it. Still had chores to do before mother came home, but my eyes were so irritated from crying that I just put clean sheets on my bed and decided to lie down and close my eyes. Of course, when mother came home, I woke up to yelling about me not having done the chores and me sleeping at that hour and how I never do anything in the house. I don't even reply to it anymore. It's not like she's going to stop being delusional about that if I tell her about all the times I do just do my chores. I told her I broke up with Ad and she went immediately from angry to kind of quiet and soft. I hate it when she does that. She always just yells at me before even hearing my side. But oh well. She mostly stopped bothering me after that, but she did say she thought it was sad for Ad and I was like "Yeah, I agree.". What the fuck do you want me to say to that? God, she always makes everything worse. But I think Ad and I are on good terms again, and we're still best friends.

I need to wake up early tomorrow for the windows man and I am quite tired from the crying and stuff, so I'm going to brush my teeth and get some good old SLEEP.

Slept on the couch for about two and a half hours and just had lunch and I think my body is starting to correct itself and understanding that it is now afternoon, haha. Good sign.

And surprisingly not even that tired yet. Just watched a movie, I Want To Be A Soldier, and it was pretty decent. It's just past 3 am and I don't have a lot to do right now, so I think I'm just going to put my recent movie reviews on Letterboxd (same username, if you want to check it out) and then maybe continue with my new digital drawing. I really hope tonight fixes my sleeping schedule. I think I'd like to move toward a sleeping schedule where I wake up around 4 am again.

The remainder of yesterday was quite nice. Spent it drawing alone in my room. Finished the art trade with Aafke I got started on in March, finally. I went to bed late to finish it, thinking I could just sleep in. Well, sike, because my neighbor started breaking down something in his yard around 7:20 am (on a Saturday). I'm tired, but I have a party today, so I also don't want to just go back to sleep and then immediately go to a party when I wake up again. So good luck to me with staying awake today, LOL. I think I'm going to draw some more now. It's been really relaxing to do digital art again. It's nice to keep switching between digital and traditional to keep things fresh.