AITA? IATA.

[winterizer]

Dating is evil and I'm an asshole for trying it again. I broke up with Adrian, and now I hurt his feelings. I feel like I set him up for this. Not because I intended to hurt him. I just got intoxicated by the idea of being fully committed to someone again, and actually being loved, but reality of course didn't meet the fairytale expectations. The more love he gave me, the more I started questioning my own feelings, and feeling guilty for not loving him enough. He honestly really deserves someone who loves him more than I love him. I just hoped so hard that I had finally found the one, and that I could make him happy, but I couldn't, and I think that made both of us unhappy. I really want to stay in contact with him, but I have no idea if he wants that himself. After I told him, he immediately turned his phone off. I'm worried about him, but most of all, I'm surprisingly numb. I'm sad, but I'm numb. It's the pills. It's the fucking pills, man. But I'm still sad. I let Adrian down. I hurt him. Which is the one thing I wanted to not do. Guess a tiger can't change it's stripes.